I wore this outfit to the Fashion In The Snow fashion show. At first glance, this may look like a girl wearing a long black dress and being at ease with her decision, but let me share with you how long it took this girl to decide that this dress was the right decision.
A few weeks before this event, I made up my mind that old Hollywood glam was going to be the mood I created with my look. When I decide on a look, I am adament about committing to it.
This look was no different. I got online and looked up gold beaded dresses with fringe and found a ton. However, with two weeks away, I couldn’t trust shipping, so I went in store. I never found what I was looking for so I reluctantly changed my mind about my look as it was getting closer and closer to the show.
I decided I’d do a modern sophisticated look. I found the PERFECT dress. It was navy blue and had these beautiful cut out details. It also fit me like a glove. I was in love. I knew this was the dress. This was it! I felt like a queen in it.
BUT! There was a problem. The price tag. It was way out of my budget. I could not afford this dress. I got it anyway. I was 2 days away from the event and I felt like I was out of options. I took the expensive dress home and pretended like the price was not an issue. The next day, I went out and bought some even pricer shoes to match.
I kept telling myself “You deserve these things because you’ve been through so much. This is how you should be living.”
The morning of the event, I felt uneasy. I was hot and my chest was tight. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I made such huge purchases and how I felt like I needed one more item to bring this look to life.
I became overwhelmed by the amount of spending I was willing to do in order to commit to a look. It became less about the fashion show and more about my need to prove to myself that I was worth the purchases.
A few unsatifying hours went by and I told myself, “Brittany, it is not that serious. Just be you and wear something that doesn’t make you feel guilty.”
So I scrapped the idea of the shoes and dress. I pulled out this gorgeous black dress I’d gotten from Big T Plaza months ago and paired it with my black bomber jacket and over-the-knee peep toe boots.
I felt sexy and edgy. I felt like the most beautiful version of myself and most importantly guilt free and anxiety free. This dress was well under $20 and it still made me feel gorgeous. I’ve always known that I didn’t have to spend a ton to look good.
However, I started creating scenarios in my head that my self worth was somehow tied to the amount I spent on my clothing. This was false. I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself about something that was so inaccurate.
I still like and appreciate designer clothing, but I’m now realizing that clothes can’t dictate my value. I am so much more than a price tag. I am uniquely and wonderfully made. I am enough all by myself. Fashion simply compliments my beauty, but it doesn’t define it.
To anyone feeling pressured to prove their worth in anyway, know that you are enough. Reflect on this daily. Keep people in your immediate circle who will constantly remind you of this fact until you believe it.
I know that I am enough and sometimes, I may still have to remind myself of this fact.
Cheers to the look that was created when I came back to this realization.
Dress: Big T Plaza (Dallas, Tx)
Jacket: Nordstrom Rack
Boots: Shu Deal (Dallas, Tx)
Hair: Essence Beauty Supply (18″ drawstring ponytail)
Accessories: choker (XXI), bodychain (essence beauty supply), earrings (Nordstrom).