I’ve neglected writing for some time because I’ve been rendezvousing with another love, photography. I enjoy the novels created through pictures, the stories told through the eyes of my clients, or muses as I like to call them, the unspoken but seen.
I’ve been meaning to get back to writing, but I knew it would take something core-shaking to bring me back here. I just didn’t know it would be my hair.
shot by @octaviajbeauty on instagram.
Here I am, going on week 2 of the big chop, rocking my TWA (teeny weeny afro).
I’ve been natural for countless years. This chop was just supposed to be a few inches off here and there of the heat damaged hair, but I got carried away and continued cutting and messing up and trying to correct my mistakes until finally, I had to involve my brother who is a barber, to finish the job. When he was done, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe my hair was gone.
I no longer felt beautiful because I didn’t know what to do with this new look. Sometimes we get so used to our own norm that we forget change is inevitable. Mistakes happen. But beauty can be birthed from mistakes.
I began to quickly learn that I didn’t feel comfortable or beautiful without the hair I had become accustomed to. I talked a good talk about self love, but I wasn’t living it.
My self love was circumstantial.
It was contingent upon the length of my hair. I started wearing a short wig and I told myself I’d wear wigs until my hair grew out so no one would see how short it was.
After a full day of wearing a wig, I knew I didn’t want to wear one everyday for months. So, I washed my hair and looked at it and decided I’d wear it out even if I hated it and eventually I’d convince myself that I was still beautiful.
Day by day my confidence grew. With the help of my family and friends (thanks for FaceTiming and letting me vent about it) I begin to actually believe I was beautiful.
Insecurities can make us believe things that are false about ourselves. They can also dictate how we participate in life.
It only took me a week to get over this insecurity about my hair because of prayer, family, and friends.
Sometimes our insecurities may seem trivial, but ask yourself how large of an impact it is having on your overall quality of life. If I didn’t act quickly, I would have continued to find ways to isolate myself from the world because I did not want anyone to see my hair. You see how quickly things can spiral just because of something that “seems” so insignificant.
It’s not enough to say you love yourself inwardly and outwardly. You must also think about your contribution in life and how significant it really is. We are all purposed with gifts that are meant to reach beyond our thoughts. You can’t give that gift if you allow insecurities to blind you. So I challenge you to do what I did, think about your contribution and how being controlled by your own insecurities can hinder you from making it. Then attack the insecurities head on and seek help and encouragement from the people in your life that really love you and love themselves. You can overcome anything at anytime if you allow yourself to.